Wifely Duty II

This is in response to the comments from the post below. I started to respond as a comment then realized this needs a larger space. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea of why I posted that article. So here's what I'm thinking.

Billy & Charles, I don't think that the author is necessarily sexist nor does she really believe the things in the quoted paragraph. I think she's just saying what she's seen other women saying/believing (and yes, those things might be sexist).

I'm fascinated with the paragraph below in particular, because I wonder how true it is. My boyfriend is definitely one (as are Billy and Charles, from what I can tell) to notice the need for toilet paper...but I realize that he and I definitely do things differently. He wouldn't do things the same way I would do them. In the same way, I wouldn't do things the same way he would do them.

So in thinking about these kinds of things, I'm fascinated with "roles" that people take on in partnerships. I think for our generation it's a constant struggle to figure out one's role. Maybe figuring out the role isn't the hard part but rather learning how to be content in it.

Only a few years ago (in my extreme liberal thinking), I thought that equally sharing the domestic work was the way to go, and I believed it would be a horrible thing if I took on historically female roles (like staying home to raise children). As I get older and see things through new perspectives, I don't feel that way now. I recognize that people have strengths and weaknesses and they should do what they are naturally best at, regardless of where it falls in gender roles.

In addition, I'm learning to appreciate that people do different tasks differently. As mentioned in the excerpt, a man might not chat with the teacher when taking the child to school like a woman would, but that's OK. He's in no way obligated to do this. I think the problem lies with the woman who expects a man to do things exactly like she would. Whoever said that we all had to be the same? Somehow I think I got distracted in thinking that equal meant the same, but it doesn't. This article was a good reminder to me that I still have a lot to figure out about relationship roles.

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