Thinking about Christmases past. I'm

Thinking about Christmases past. I'm so thankful to be where I am today. I'm thankful to have my family close to me. Thankful that everyone is healthy and happy. I'm thankful for a group of friends that keep my mind and my heart alive. I'm thankful for an incredible place to live. I'm thankful for a job I don't loathe going to everyday. I'm thankful for the year to come. I'm thankful for my experiences. I'm even thankful that I'm alone. Life is good.

Today was laid back and quite wonderful. I started by rolling over and going back to sleep a couple times. When I did finally get up, I gave Tiger a bath. Nothing like a clean dog at the holidays. Made it over to Mom and Dad's too late for breakfast, but they were sweet enough to save me some. Then we opened presents. I'm spoiled. I got way too much, but it was wonderful. Then I spent the afternoon lounging with my parents. Mostly I watched TV. That was a nice indulgence I don't allow myself very often. We had a huge dinner of prime rib around 4pm. (The family took a vote and we were all burned out on traditional holiday meals.) It was nice to have something other than turkey or ham on a holiday. After helping with the dishes, I came home. Talked to a couple friends on the phone. Karen and Kristen took off to celebrate with friends. All the dogs are sleeping, worn out from the holiday. I'm here alone enjoying the quiet house.

I feel reflective as I usually do on holidays. This time last year I was writing about him. I was mourning the loss. All I wanted was to have him back. Now I realize so much more was meant for me...so many better things. I realize that it's not me that screwed up or was unlovable. It was strictly what had to happen to make me who I am today. It helped me grow. The scary part is that I know I'm not done growing. That I will never be done growing. But it's ok with me. I'm welcome the growth because I know everything is going how it was meant to be. And I trust that it all has a good outcome in the end.

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