Month of July, 2002

Summer Night Tonight is one

Summer Night
Tonight is one of those perfect summer nights. It reminds me of being in high school and completely cherishing every minute of the summer. On a night like tonight we would have been driving around just to drive. We'd probably end up at a park somewhere just to run around. Then more driving with the windows rolled down in or the back of Ky's truck. Everything was so easy. The only hard thing was thinking about school starting again. Tonight I want to run around a park and drive just to drive. I want to cherish the summer like I used to. But you never can quite get those moments back. At least I can remember.

One more day ...until I

One more day
...until I see Kevin.

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Brain Power!!

I had mental breakthrough today!! It finally clicked for me. I've felt so close to this point for so long but just didn't get it until now. Such relief. I've been using our scripting application for quite sometime but never quite got the looping part. I never quite understood which object loops to use where. (Confused? Don't worry, it's our own little scripting language.) Suddenly today as I was working on a script, something just clicked. It was as clear as day what the application is doing and I know understand what I need to be doing in the script. The really great part is I can now explain this to someone else I'm teaching (a BIG plus in teaching is to actually understand the material you're teaching...imagine that!). I've been struggling for so long when I've helped our users. I could never explain why I did it just that I knew I had to. Now I understand...really understand. Such a relief. The cool part is I knew this was coming. I could tell I was on the verge of it all making sense but nothing I did quite worked for me. After months and months of wrestling with this, I'm in shock I've finally got it.

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Quote of the Day "The

Quote of the Day
"The clerk is of course automatically cooler than the customer because we are accepted by the public at large as snotty arbiters of movie taste, and also because anybody with a shit job is automatically cooler than someone with a 9-to-5."
- Ali, from True Porn Clerk Stories

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Creepy Ok, I'm really not

Creepy
Ok, I'm really not comfortable with Mr. Creepy Customer calling up and asking me about my weekend. I hate that I recognize his voice. I do NOT work with him. I do NOT want to be his friend. He should only be calling me for help. And that should be a whole lot less often, in my opinion.

Weekend
I had a really nice weekend but it went way too fast. (It always does.) Karen and I went to the Rangers game Friday night as her company had a special event. It was actually a pretty exciting game, as exciting as a baseball game gets, when in the 7th inning the Rangers scored 5 runs in under 5 minutes. As the game wrapped up, it was nice sitting in the Gold Club with Karen having a drink and just talking.

Then there was the man who redeemed many men in my mind. He came to our table, asked us if he could buy us a round. When we politely declined, he politely thanked us and walked off. This is how all social interactions in a bar should go...but too often they don't. Karen and I figured that because this guy was older, he knew how to act appropriately. Far too often turning down a drink hurts a guy's ego so much he'll just stay and argue with you. I'm not much for arguing with strangers.

Saturday
Saturday morning, I helped Matt and Leia move just a few leftover belongings to their new place. I haven't moved someone with that many electronics ever! (I thought I had a lot of electronics...) It was only a couple carloads of stuff and since there were a few cars, only one trip. Easy, easy. After the move and the grand tour, we all had lunch at Mai's. Spent the rest of the afternoon, most of it on their awesome porch swing, catching up with Matt. It's nice to catch up with a good friend.

Saturday evening, I went for a swim at Mom and Dad's house. Again the water was the perfect temperature. Dad was even awesome enough to get chips and hot sauce for Mom and I while we swam. Wow, I have the coolest parents. Lounged around the house until it was time to go to Josh's.

Journalism Josh had the best party I've been to in a long, long time. I think it was so good because I met a lot of people who were cool. There were bloggers, there were journalists, there were yoga instructors! It was the perfect mix of people. I had the destinct pleasure of meeting Abby and Cate who are by far the coolest women I've met in Dallas (with the exception of the fabulous Lucci sisters, of course). I also got to meet the jaded physics tutor who complained it wasn't a good party - not a distinct pleasure. Leia looked SO cute - it was fun to see her out and actually get to talk with her! (Usually everyone else gets to her first.) Gary and I got some time to chat at the beginning of the night but he must have snuck out because I didn't see him later. Charles and I teased Roger about his immaculate apartment. Charles teased me about looking prime for the Love Boat - I was wearing a tropical floral dress. I avoided talking to the annoying cowboy boot guy...more than once. Left Josh's a little later than I had planned but it was just such a nice group of people. Came home and feel asleep on the phone with Kevin. It was a great night.

Sunday
Sunday Tiger woke me up around 8am. I let him out and fell back into bed. I didn't mean to sleep until 10:30 but it sure felt good. Strumbled off to the gym and was suprised at how pleasantly empty it is on Sundays. After my workout, spent a few hours talking with Philip which made for a wonderful afternoon. Got home and parked myself in front of the computer for the rest of the day/night. By the way, there are new photos up thanks to Jason and Matt for their awesome code.

Kevin and I stayed up super late last night talking. Yeah, it was 3am before we got off. But it was totally wonderful as it always is. I'm feeling very, very excited that I get to see him in just a few days! Running around Vegas with my best friend is going to be tons of fun.

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Quote of the Day "Don't

Quote of the Day
"Don't disrespect me!"
- Matt, when we told him he couldn't treat us all to lunch

Thank you, Kevin. You

Thank you, Kevin. You are the best!

Congratulations, Autumn!! Holy cow, I

Congratulations, Autumn!!
Holy cow, I certainly can't sit still now! I just got email from Autumn saying she got a job!!! I'm SOOO excited for her! Wow, today has just been the day for GREAT surprises - first Summer and now Autumn! I know I'll be burning up the phone lines this weekend catching up with my two best friends! I'm so happy for both. Sounds like Autumn will be teaching HIGH school in El Paso this next year. Actually, starting Monday! Whoo! I'm so happy for her. I know she's going to do a wonderful, wonderful job!

It's Friday and a wonder

It's Friday and a wonder that I can concentrate at all. Mostly I just saw Summer's comment and realized that she and Greg are going to be moving soon!! Congrats guys!! Give me a call when you have the time (and quit partying)! Tonight I'm going to a Ranger game with Karen and am looking forward to that. But I want to get out of here. Enough work for one week in my opinion.

Las Vegas a Week from Now

So this time next week I'll be hanging out with my honey is Las Vegas! I can hardlly concentrate as I think about sleeping all day (except for a few hours to go swimming) and running around all night long. Fun, fun, fun! Of course it now means the next 7 days are going to drag on and on.

Bombay Sapphire, my favorite gin, has some really neat design stuff on their page. Who would have thought?

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New haircut.

New haircut.

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I'm a horrible mother This

I'm a horrible mother
This morning after the gym, Tiger and I went for a walk. I could hear his toenails on the sidewalk and made mental note it was time for a clipping. So when we got back home, I took him in the backyard with the nail clippers. He hates this so much that at sight of the clippers he ran away. Finally I got him to come back and I started clipping. If you've never clipped a dog's toenails, you're lucky. They don't like it (who would) and since it's their feet you've got to play a weird balancing game. Of course on top of that, if you clip too close, they start bleeding. And though, there doesn't seem to be much in there, it sure bleeds a lot. As my luck would have it, the very first toenail I clip, I clipped too short. Blood everywhere. Luckily we're outside because I learned my lesson about toenail clipping inside the house. Now, Tiger doesn't want me to touch any of his other toenails. I feel horrible about hurting him, but I figure I might as well clip a few more while he's uncomfortable. So I managed to get his back paws done today. He was pretty fed up with my by the end of it so I wrapped up the still-bleeding paw and took him inside. He's now lying on his bed licking his wound, which makes me feel pretty darn awful. Something about this system has to change. Every time I do this, I end up hurting him which makes me feel awful. But I don't like taking him to the groomer because they hardly cut his nails at all. So maybe I just need to buy some paste that is made to stop bleeding toenails. If he doesn't bleed as long, I won't feel as bad, right? Man, why can't he clip his own toenails?

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Haircut Tonight I got my

Haircut
Tonight I got my haircut. Boy, do I feel sexy. I had waited an inordinately long time to have it done. My hair was so long that I couldn't even spike it the past week and half. I couldn't spike it because it was so long and heavy it wouldn't stay up. No, I do not have a picture. I feel so much better and back to normal.

Oh, and I got my eyebrows done. I can now conquer the world!

Ana, my hairdresser, has moved to a new salon. It's so beautiful and so much more hip than the last place. So if you're looking for a cool salon and an incredible hairdresser, go to Ana at Arlington Salon and Day Spa.

Wow, Pyra, makers of Blogger

Wow, Pyra, makers of Blogger are hiring a customer support rep. Talk about 10 times cooler than my job. Well, that's what I first thought. Then I started wondering about who they're supporting. I'm assuming it will be whatever businesses they're selling the Blogger to. And if a person needs help setting up a blog, I can only imagine how painful it could be supporting them.

So now, I just hope that whomever gets the job starts a customer service blog telling us all about it.

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Ampoule Photos

Due to such popular demand, I present the rest of Ampoule's spider photos.

Ampoule is my friend, Keith.

Ampoule is my friend, Keith. He currently doesn't have a website but needs one. The problem, in my opinion is he's a perfectionist. He won't put up a site until it's perfect. And any of us who have started learning web stuff know that it takes awhile to get good.

Last week Keith sent me the best birthday present EVER! (Don't worry, none of you missed my birthday...just Keith.) So he was feeling bad about missing it and told me he wanted to get me something. Now, Keith is the KING of good music so I asked for a CD. Not only did I get a fantastic ambient/techno mix, but I also got beautiful, beautiful photos to go with it. Keith is also KING of photography.

We were talking about artists not too long ago and it came up that one of my favorite artists has some public art near where Keith works. So he decided to include the pictures with the album and it's by far one of the best gifts ever. Maybe, if he's ok with it, I'll put up the rest of the pictures. The sculptures are spiders and would make more sense if seen in all the different views.

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Spider

Image by Ampoule

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How was your day?

My day was really nice. Worked out this morning. Uneventful morning at the gym (the best kind). Then i went to VB class and then on to work. Had sushi dinner with a client (who paid...can't beat that).

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Wonders Never Cease cDc got

Wonders Never Cease
cDc got a blog.

Hell yeah. BLOG TAG!!

Hell yeah. BLOG TAG!!

Visual Basic So I'm taking

Visual Basic
So I'm taking a VB class. Learning good stuff but I don't have any great ideas for simple Windows based programs. Everything I think of relates to the Internet. So I asked the professor today how in VB I would grab URLs from the web. I just want what shows up in the address bar of Internet Explorer. But he didn't know. Frustrating. I haven't had any time to investigate online yet, but I figured I'd at least ask you all. Anyone know?

News Links for cDc at

News Links for cDc at H2K2
Staying Anonymous on the Web
H2K2 - the Hacker Conference
A New Code for Anonymous Web Use
Hackers Take Aim
Hackers Tackle Censorship With New Tool
NetIQ Releases Protection Against New Hacker Tool "Camera/Shy"
H2K2 Wrapup
tranquileye
Mixter & Oxblood Ruffin
July 4th, 2001. A Special Message of Hope

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Weezer and Muppets are good.

Weezer and Muppets are good. Just saw the video and I can't quit smiling.

So what a week this has been. It's gone so fast and so much has been going on. Let me backtrack a bit.

Last Saturday (7-13)
I stayed at home last Saturday night because I didn't feel much like going out. Needed some alone time and had the house all to myself. Then crashed into bed super early. I had spent most of the day moping around because I wasn't at H2K2 (HOPE - a 2600 thing) seeing cDc do their thing. Kevin had been super busy preparing for the show and I never got to see it. Maybe there will be video online someday.

Last Sunday (7-14)
I got up really, really early and got busy around the house. Completely organized and cleaned the garage. It had been in pretty bad shape for quite sometime. Looks much better now and I can actually find stuff! Then I washed my car and worked on the lawn a bit. All before noon! Then I treated myself to a dip in mom and dad's pool. It was the perfect temperature since it had warmed up a bit since the 4th. (Did I mention how cold the water was on the 4th?) Sunday night Josh and I saw Road to Perdition. It is such a beautifully filmed movie. It's tempting to see it on big screen again just for the images. I liked it a lot better than I had expected and would recommend it. We had egg rolls and pot stickers before I headed home to talk with Kevin. I was anxious to hear about his weekend as we had only been talking between events. Unfortunately he was still out with friends and I knew I couldn't stay awake.

Monday
I woke up late Monday which set the whole week off to a bad start. I could have woken up on time but I chose to hit snooze instead. *Note to self: even one press of the snooze button will make your whole week harder.* As I was struggling to get out of bed, I realized that it was quite possible my Visual Basic class started that morning. I hopped out of bed to check and sure enough, I had 15 minutes to get there. In a baseball cap and blue jeans, I make it to the first class on time. I'm quite impressed with the instructor. After class, I went home and got ready for work. Wish I hadn't because I had a really, really tough day at work. I can't put my finger on what it was exactly but it was a bad day. The only thing that helped was working out Monday night. When you make your body tired, it eases the mind somehow. Then I finally got to have a real conversation with Kevin, which always makes things seem right in the world. We talked forever catching up on each other's weekend.

Tuesday
Tuesday was pretty insignificant except that I attended a Dinner Cult event at Liberty Noodle. Got to meet some nice people (whose names I can't remember now) and had the world's best grilled calamari. It was really nice to meet some new people from different backgrounds and interests. The best part was some of the stories that were told. I should have recorded some of them here but tumbled into bed as soon as I got home. Stayed out too late by going for ice cream after dinner.

Wednesday
Had yet another tough time getting out of bed on time Wednesday. But made it to class on time and learned a bunch more. I actually built a very simple slot machine program. Not particularly exciting until I was able to make modifications to it. Pretty neat. I've been wanting to do more work and practice with the VB stuff but just haven't had made the time. Despite feeling really worn out, I headed over to Hurricane Grill for the DFW Blogs happy hour. It was great to see friends and talk. But I bailed early before I fell asleep on a table.

Friday
Skipping past Thursday because I can't remember anything significant. I probably just went to bed early. Friday was a decent day at work. Finally the weekend had arrived and all I wanted to do was sleep. So I ate a couple pieces of Karen's pizza then hopped into bed to watch tv. Pure pleasure. I watched a few hours of tv, talked to Kevin briefly (he had friends visiting and was busy entertaining), and fell asleep around 11pm. Wow, I feel good just thinking about it.

Saturday
Woke up early, early feeling fully rested for the first time in days. Karen was up early too (after, unknown to me, going to bed as early as I did AND watching the same tv show as I did) so we took the doggies for a walk. After some messing around the house, we headed out for a little shopping. It was fun to beat the Saturday crowds and find a few good deals on summer clothes since they just released fall stuff. (WTF? The fashion industry has never made any sense to me.) Picked up a couple summer items for my big trip to Vegas in a few weeks. I am getting very excited.

Yesterday afternoon was spent watching the Great Outdoor Games in order to catch J.R.'s boom run. Then I met up with Paul and his friend Ed for dinner and drinks. Paul works for a company that works with my company and since he was in town for training we decided to hang out. His friend since high school, Ed, lives in Houston and attends Rice University came up to see Dallas. So I got to play tour guide a little bit. First we had an incredible dinner at Foca de Chow, the Brazilian restaurant. The restaurant choice was Paul's and I have to say it was a good one. Wow, I haven't had food that good in a really long time. After dinner we met up with Karen at Zu Bar but it was bit loud for my taste. We then went next door to Moosh which is a perfect bar in my opinion. The bartender served us edamame! It doesn't get any better than that. Karen wanted to meet friends at Minc, a new bar near New Amsterdam, so we headed down that way separately. By the time we arrived, the line was halfway down the block. I can't tell you the last time I waited in line for a bar. So we split for Meridian Room. Ran into Josh and Carly on the street which was a big surprise. We didn't stay long at Meridian Room as I had reached my limit. Dropped Paul and Ed off at the hotel before I made the long drive back to Arlington. (It felt especially long last night for some reason.) Tumbled into bed and asleep in a matter of seconds. What a night!

Today
Just been hanging around the house today recovering from last night. Had lunch at Mom and Dad's house. It was nice to see Grandma, who is back in Texas after a month visiting family in New York. Mom even made dessert for Grandma's homecoming. I've spent the rest of the afternoon watching tv and laying around the house. Looking forward to getting in bed early tonight and starting off my week better than I did the last week. Now I'm off to make the weekend phone calls.

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Something to occupy you on

Something to occupy you on a Friday.
quarlo
990000
lauraholder
brooklynkid
rion
lightningfield

Can you tell where I wish I were right now?

Fine Art Mark Ryden's work

Fine Art
Mark Ryden's work is absolutely amazing in my opinion. Beautiful yet creepy. Thanks to Kevin for the link.

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Breathing a sigh of relief

Breathing a sigh of relief
I've been busting my butt at work recently. I can't remember if I've complained or not, but I've been given more work while a coworker is out on leave. So this work is temporary but at the moment there's a TON of it. All day today I've been plowing through it (unfortunately it's not hard work just detail oriented...very little thought goes into it). I was actually beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel when the network went down. All the systems I was using to do this task are located in the corporate office and it appears their network just went ker-blunk (not good). At first I was mad because I'm so close to being done. But now I'm relieved. I'm getting the first break I've had in days where I can truly relax.

*Update* - Network came back up and I was able to finish...for today. Have a little more to do tomorrow but it's the easy stuff. Whew!

Big Decision So, yeah...the big

Big Decision
So, yeah...the big decision is grad school. More about this later.

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Big Decisions Big decisions make

Big Decisions
Big decisions make me nervous. I've been living life pretty laid back and haphazardly the past couple years. Yes, I've made big decisions along the way but none of them seemed that big. Now I'm thinking about making a 3 year commitment and it seems big. Really big.

It scares me, but I don't think it should. I am in control of my life and this would be a good direction. Everything else would just have to take a backseat in my life. Including my own desires.

Now we'll just have to see if I'm woman enough to make this decision.

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Virus The first synthetic virus

Virus
The first synthetic virus was created. I'm not even sure what to think about it. Other than I wonder why they're bothering to make bad stuff when there aren't enough cures out there for the current diseases.

Time Line I realized today

Time Line
I realized today that my blog is not only good for me to keep track of past events but it might also be good for other people as well.

We're having a blood drive at work today. Tim J and I were discussing tatoos and what the waiting period is to give blood after you've been inked. He was pretty sure it was close to a year but he wasn't sure the exact date. He went to Kim who he had hoped would remember. She didn't (of course, it wasn't her body) but suggested I might have it on my site because Tim and I had gone to lunch around this time last year. I have no idea how she remembered that but she's got a pretty amazing memory for "weird" things, it seems.

Anyhow, he looked back and found that indeed we had hung out this time last year. I was able to remember that it happened to be the exact same day we had lunch that he got the tatoo. Mostly because I was amazed that he was able to leave work in the morning, get a tatoo, then go have a 2 hour lunch with me. All I knew was I wanted to work at that company.

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Friend? Acquaintance? Online prescence? We

Friend? Acquaintance? Online prescence?
We need a name for the people we know thru the web but not in person. Any ideas?

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Breaking bread tonight with the

Breaking bread tonight
with the haiku queen herself.
I'm SO excited!

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What a surprise On the

What a surprise
On the way out of the gym this morning, I ran into Rachel, a girl I went to elementary, junior high, and high school with. We attended a small private school for elementary and junior high so we were naturally apart of the same social group. I can remember spending the night at her parents' house in elementary. Then we played basketball together in junior high. We were both point guards, but Rachel was better than I was. She moved to the public school in 9th grade (still junior high here) which allowed me to become the basketball MVP that year. Hehe. By the time we attended the public high school together, we ran in different social circles. I haven't seen her in probably 8 years.

Just today I learned Rachel attended a private university nearby, got her degree in education, taught 1st grade in the area, got married (to a guy she started dating at the end of high school), and had a baby boy. It was really fun to catch up and have a few things in common. We exchanged numbers to get together and hopefully talk more. The real kicker of all of this is that we live on the same street, just at different ends. What a small, small world.

Busy Feeling really busy these

Busy
Feeling really busy these days. Today was horribly busy at work. But I found a groove and it didn't bother me too much. Listening to good music always helps my mood. I need to bring more music to work.

Not really disappointed
A long time ago (back in April), I mentioned an opportunity at work. At the time I was asked to apply for a different position. Of course I was extremely flattered and excited about the possibility. Due to a lot of completely uncontrollable circumstances, the selection process dragged on months and months. The excitment had worn off long ago. Today I found out the job was offered to another person in my group.

It was extremely considerate of the manager to pull me aside to let me know. He was very encouraging and said I did quite well in the interview and the testing. But I wasn't selected. It's hard not to focus on the negative side. Thoughts like "I'm not good enough" creep in pretty quickly. And I will forever be comparing myself to the coworker, but I'll never match up because I didn't get the job.

It sounds like I'm having a pity party for myself when I'm really not; just going through my thoughts. I'm actually pretty relieved that it wasn't offered to me. I felt slightly unsure about the position and whether or not I would like it. It would be horrible to move into a job I truely hated. And I kinda feel like if there's any doubt in my mind then I shouldn't do whatever I have doubts about. Plus, the coworker who got the offer, really, really, really deserves this. I believe it will be an excellent situation for all parties involved.

Now my mind is going in all sorts of different directions about work possibilites. I probably should stop it. You can't force something to happen in anything - especially in changing jobs. So I need to hunker down and get prepared for a long wait. Because who knows how long it will be until something comes up and it's really clear that I should take it.

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Neighborhood Walmart

Kristen and I went grocery shopping tonight. Decided to try out the new neighborhood Walmart. We were very entertained by the new self check out stations. With very little effort we checked ourselves out and headed out the door. Conversation as we walked out:

Kristen: You know, Walmart has a hard time getting people to be cashiers since they pay so little.
Me: I've heard that.
Kristen: That's probably why they have all those computers to check yourself out at.
Me: Yeah, Walmart thinks they're god. "We don't need people, we'll just replace them with computers!"
Kristen: Besides, computers don't ask for days off, get sick, complain...

And now we don't have to feel bad for going there because the person checking us out doesn't make enough money to support themselves.

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Quote of the Day "I

Quote of the Day
"I love lazy co-workers. They make you look good with little effort."
- Gary

Green Eyes Gone Wow, Kelly

Green Eyes Gone
Wow, Kelly is moving. I wish she would have said something the last time we saw each other. A hug would have been appropriate. Cyber hugs just aren't the same. Thank you, Kelly, for all the wonderful things you said. You are a very, very special woman who deserves much happiness in your life. So, go and be happy! I'm so thankful I'll be able to read what you're up to but always will miss your tender smile at happy hour.

Great Product

Thanks, honey. This is exactly what I've been looking for!

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Kevin Smokler is doing a

Kevin Smokler is doing a panel at SXSW next year. Check out his interview right now.

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1000 Journals travelling around the

1000 Journals travelling around the world. You write, draw, paint, paste, etc. then pass it along to the next person. Who passes it on to someone else. One big collaboration. No one knows if it's coming back or not but every one gets to enjoy it in the meantime. Sounds like an excellent idea. I'm thinking about starting a round myself. Anyone interested?

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The Kevin Story

So I've really been struggling to sit down and write. Heck, I've even been struggling to pick up the phone. (Kris, I know you called and I'm not ignoring or avoiding you...I'll call soon.) Not really sure what I'm feeling. Just relaxing. Want to spend some time alone. I'm not sad. Definitely content.

4th of July
It was a nice excuse to have a party. Lots of friends, plenty of food, some swimming, some rain, and tons of great conversation. Thank you all for making the drive to Arlington to hang out. I enjoyed your company. Cindy had come in the night before and it was such a treat to hang out. Good girlfriends are few and far between. It's wonderful when they come to visit! The highlight for me was having Kevin around to meet my friends. Our lives feel so separate without being able to put faces to names. I needed Kevin to see faces. I was probably quieter than normal but I really enjoyed sitting back and watching. Seeing everyone interact and enjoy each other was good for me. I'm thankful to have friends.

My only regret is not going out to see fireworks.

How?
Ruaraidh and I were chatting briefly today about the weekend. He asked how Kevin and I know each other since Kevin lives so far away. It occurred to me that I really haven't gone into it. Tonight feels like a good night for a long story. Just remember, that this is probably more for my enjoyment than yours. Warning, cheesy reminiscing ahead.

The Kevin Story
In January of this year, Aaron and Andy ended up in Arlington for a night. I hadn't seen them in years but knew they were living in New York City. It was fun to catch up and I decided to make a trip up. Found some great tickets and headed up for a long weekend in February.

The second night I was there, Aaron had to work. So I met Andy out. To my surprise, Kevin showed up as well. Kevin and I had been acquaintances in Lubbock. I'd say we met my first or second year in college. I went out dancing a lot (like 4 times a week). It was a common occurrence to see Kevin dancing at Kitchen Club too. I can remember being impressed that there was a guy who would dance just to dance. He didn't care what anyone else was doing or even whether or not anyone else was dancing. He just danced. We eventually met and talked occasionally. I don't remember any significant conversations but Kevin says he gave me his phone number once so we could hang out. Apparently I never called.

So here I bump into Kevin (or so it feels) in New York City of all places years after we barely knew each other. Oh, wait. There were a few emails sent back and forth in early 2001. I was dating Jason who is also a Lubbockite. That was when I first learned of Kevin's computer prowess. At the time we were both in relationships (I can remember him telling me he and his girlfriend were going to the park that weekend.) but a couple friendly email were sent back and forth.

So, my second night in New York and I get to hang out with Kevin. We went from record store to bar to diner without taking a breath. I swear we couldn't quit talking. I just remember having so much to talk about and so many things in common. I think we sat on silver or gray couches in the bar and talked mostly of computers. Later we went to dinner with Andy and his coworkers. I don't think I spoke to anyone else but Kevin the whole meal. He told me about his parents. I was impressed he spoke so highly of them. It's a good sign in people. Went back to Kevin's apartment (he lives one floor up from Andy and Aaron) and talked on and on. I sat on the floor with my back against the wall. It was 2am before I realized it was a weekday and I was the only one who could sleep in the next day.

I should probably point out that I wasn't scamming on Kevin. Heck, I wasn't even having romantic thoughts. Somehow Kevin seemed out of my league. Like he was too good for me. We were just hanging out as friends who had a lot in common.

Saw Kevin again the next night when a group of us went dancing. The music was great. The club wasn't too crowded. I hadn't been dancing in months. It was so much fun. Kevin and I danced like old times. Not really together but not really apart. We were aware of each other but just doing our own thing. Exactly how I like it. As it got later and later, it finally occurred to me how attractive Kevin is. And maybe, just maybe he was thinking the same thing about me.

Everyone else had already headed home by the time we left the club. Gosh, it must have been almost 3am. We were heading back when Kevin decided I had to experience Big Nick's. I remember it being very, very cold as we walked to the diner. Big Nick's is a hell of an experience and I would recommend it to anyone. Especially at 4 in the morning! We ate awesome burgers and talked on and on. Walking back to the subway I was impressed by it being quiet in the early morning hours. I think it was the only quiet I had experienced in New York City. It was a long trip back.

Our shoulders touched as we sat waiting for the train. There were a few people around but it was quiet in the subway. I leaned over and kissed Kevin. It felt so good when he kissed back. As we emerged from the subway holding hands, the sun had just started to come up.

The next day Kevin and I had lunch before he took me to the airport. I insisted that he didn't have to go that far with me but he wanted to. We held hands in the taxi. We exchanged information but I didn't really know what to expect. We live so far away. And I swore I'd never had a long distance relationship ever again.

Life has a way of making you feel like a fool because here I am months later dating a man who lives twice as far as the last long distance relationship I was in. But I am so happy and consider myself so lucky to have Kevin in my life. The distance doesn't matter.

So how did we get here? Hmm, I can't remember who called first but we talked the night I got back home. Plenty of email was sent back and forth. He called me on my birthday while I was at SXSW. I was impressed he remembered. He even sent a birthday package scheduled to arrive the day I got back from Austin. (Ironically it never made it but that was completely FedEx's fault.) Kevin told me he wanted to visit. I was shocked and so happy he wanted to make the effort. Kevin's first visit was in April. He told me while standing next to my bed that he wanted to be serious. He said he could come see me every other month.

I was very hesitant at first. Wasn't I the one who had been so miserable in a long distance relationship not even two years ago? This one could be just as disastrous. But Kevin stayed strong. He didn't listen to the thoughtless things I said. He always had a sure solution to any problem I dreamed up. And he was consistent. He just kept calling me night after night. He was always excited about what I was doing or thinking about. He told me about the billion different things he had going. I didn't even know it but I was developing a best friend. We planned a trip for me to visit him.

We had an incredible time exploring the city together. It felt so natural. We did a million things and the weekend went fast. (But I'm realizing that even when we don't do a million things the weekend still goes fast.) He told me I was good natured when I didn't get mad that we walked to the wrong train station. I really enjoyed Kevin and was relieved that we didn't talk about our relationship. I knew he wanted me to be his girlfriend but I just wasn't ready to commit. He was good not to push.

Only a few days after getting back from NYC, I went to Austin for a different Kevin's birthday. It was there that I realized how much I had started to care. I found myself sneaking off in the evenings to call Kevin and tell him about everything I was doing. I wanted to hear about all the things he was doing. We'd wish we were doing all these things together. It didn't take me long to realize that a relationship with this wonderful man was exactly what I wanted. And I was so lucky that he wanted me back.

So here we are dating across 2000 miles. Yeah, we're probably crazy but at least we're happy. I liked the way Kevin explained it the other day. He said that everything in his life is really good. His job, his friends, his music, etc. He's got all those things in control and he's on the right track. Then as the whipped cream on top, he's got a relationship with me. It's just the added bonus to a wonderful life. It doesn't control anything or change anything. It's just an addition. And that's how I feel about it as well. My life isn't changing drastically. I'm not doing anything different. I'm not obsessing. I'm not quitting my job and moving. I'm just going to revel in having this wonderful man in my life to the extent to which I have him. Which right now is a every night on the phone and once a month in person. It might not sound like much to you, but to us it's practically perfect.

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Big Fat Lie? What exactly

Big Fat Lie? What exactly are we supposed to eat? What's good for us? Do we even know? This is a great article.

What's forgotten in the current controversy is that the low-fat dogma itself is only about 25 years old. Until the late 70's, the accepted wisdom was that fat and protein protected against overeating by making you sated, and that carbohydrates made you fat.

To be precise, annual grain consumption has increased almost 60 pounds per person, and caloric sweeteners (primarily high-fructose corn syrup) by 30 pounds. At the same time, we suddenly began consuming more total calories: now up to 400 more each day since the government started recommending low-fat diets.

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All's Quiet At the moment

All's Quiet
At the moment I'm pretty quiet because Kevin is in town! We're having a great time together. Just wanted to keep you in the loop.

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Quote of the Day "You've

Quote of the Day
"You've tried linguistic devices (email AT server DOT com) and cognitive tricks (email@REMOVETHISYOUIDIOTserver.com), but somehow those little f*&$ers keep getting you on their lists."
- Cameron about spam

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Waiting Only 15 hours and

Waiting
Only 15 hours and 45 minutes until Kevin gets here. Yes, I'm excited.

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The secret is out Just

The secret is out
Just learned another coworker has heard about my blog. The rumor mill must be churning here at work. Not sure how I feel about this. But I guess it's too late now. I could always take Cameron's advice and start an anonymous blog to just write about work. Or I could just keep it off the blog so I'll actually have something to talk about in real life.

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Internet Filters in China According

Internet Filters in China
According to this article the Chinese goverment is installing Internet filters across the country.

A Hong Kong-based human rights group says Beijing also plans to order licensed net cafés to install software which can prevent access to up to 500,000 foreign websites.

One programme, the Filter King, not only records attempted hits on banned sites, but is also said to send daily reports to local police net units.

It makes me so sad that in the information age, there are people who have access to information taken away. Kevin forwarded me something the other day that I thought was really brilliant. Someone was suggesting that a small software app be written to bypass these filters. Something that a person could just put on a floppy disk and take to the Internet cafe with them. They could just slip in the disk while they are there, completely undetected by the authorities. Sounds like something Chinese people really need right now.

As we celebrate our freedom tomorrow, I'll definitely be thinking about my freedom to information and how lucky I am to have it.

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Happy Birthday, Jeff!

Happy Birthday, Jeff!

Grouchy I'm feeling horribly grouchy

Grouchy
I'm feeling horribly grouchy at the moment. Not quite sure why but everyone and everything is getting on my nerves. It's just one of those days I suppose. Or it could be the change in barometric pressure as we had another storm roll in. Maybe I just need some sugar. (Ok, I've got peanut m&m's now...hopefully it will help.) Whatever it is, I'm sick of working. I'm sick of coworkers. I'm sick of this company. Why can't I work for myself? Oh yeah, because that sucks too.

Food and Music
Last night Journalism Josh and I had dinner at Nuevo Leon. Nothing particularly significant about dinner except that we both ordered exactly what we had ordered last time. Oh, and the company was excellent. I feel extra special because Josh gave me a copy of June's mix.

Design
What an interesting idea. I wish I were an industrial designer some days.

http://imgs.creamspace.net/

http://imgs.creamspace.net/

The week that will never end

I have a feeling this is going to be the week that never ends. You know how it goes when you've got something to look forward to. Time has an evil way of digging in and dragging it's heels! Today is already moving painfully slow.

So Kevin comes in town Thursday morning. Of course, this is what I'm really, really looking forward to. Plus I'm looking forward to not working Thursday and Friday this week. In addition, Cindy is coming up from Austin for the 4th of July get-together. (Speaking of which, if you're looking for something laid back to do on the 4th, drop me a note.) Then the big Lucci homecoming is Saturday when Karen, Mom, and Dad get back from Europe.

I spent a fair amount of time cleaning the house this weekend but there's still plenty to do. Work is rather slow at the moment as I expect it to be all week. (One of the benefits of working in a customer related field...when they're on vacation you pretty much are too.) So of course I'm sitting here thinking of all the things around the house I could be doing. Need to wash sheets, clean my desk off (which probably won't happen as I haven't seen the top of it in about 5 months), wash the dogs, mow the lawn (all this rain makes it kinda hard to mow but I'm hoping it will let up before Thursday), clean the pool, etc. Instead I've got to find things to do while I'm here. Which probably means catching up on busy work.

Monday Layoff
Just heard one of our salespeople was laid off this morning. First thing Monday morning? Come on. It's especially shitty because Friday was the last day of the quarter. So they kept him here to bust his ass at the end of the quarter and then they just got rid of him. The really scary part is he said he had the best quarter of his career here. Quess this means I won't be getting that salary increase anytime soon. Poor guy, I hope he can find something else.

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