Month of September, 2001

Home Sweet Home

Back home safe and sound. Had a great weekend with Adam and Keith! More later...maybe.

Just read Leia's post from Friday. You know what? I'm totally with her. Life is good. It's SO good. It's amazing how good it's become. Who do I thank for all this?

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Taliban

Dial Up

I'm at Adam's using dial-up. Damn I knew my page loaded slowly but I had NO idea. Hmmm, time to do some revisions.

Had a quick drive down. It was so fun to actually get in Houston and drive like the Houstonians...all fast and crazy. Then Adam and I went to pick up Keith from the airport. All the way home, Keith clicked pictures of the city. Should be interesting to see what he gets. Had dinner at Mai's which is still the best Vietnamese food in all of Texas. And since it was the weekend (and I could stay up as late as I wanted) I had an iced coffeee...yum. After dinner, we took the long way home. When we got back we went for a walk. Got to see Adam's office finally and the kickin view. It finally set in that Adam's an honest-to-god-real architect. It's something I've known but it never seemed real. All those drawings everywhere somehow make it real. Enjoyed the walk back and the night air, it's gorgeous here. Crashed hard and slept great.

Keith is off to his family today and I'm going to kick it with Adam and Elaine. Going to Ikea...and the museum...and cow hunting! What a good day and it's only 8:48am!

Hope you slept well!

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Out of Town I'm going

Out of Town
I'm going to Houston today. I hope I make it down there before falling asleep. This has been a crazy week (but TONS of fun)! Maybe I'll catch up on my sleep next week. Maybe I'll catch up on my blog next week too!

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Inside Joke of the Day

Inside Joke of the Day
"That's where the money is kept."
- Andy

DFW Blogger Happy Hour TONIGHT

I can barely sit still. I just want tonight to get here. I'm SO looking forward to seeing everyone again and getting to meet some new people! I'm also looking forward to drinking a lot. Who's going to drive my drunk ass home?

Sugarbomb
Mark loaned me his new Sugarbomb CD last night. I rocked all the way to work this morning. I haven't heard anything this appealing in quite some time! If you haven't heard it, I would recommend giving it a chance. Maybe I'll be able to twist some arms and get to see them in Houston Saturday night. If someone would be nice enough to send me the details.

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More spontaneous socialization Instead of

More spontaneous socialization
Instead of going home after work I went to see Mark. It was a rough day and he promised a hug. It was worth sitting in traffic for. Plus he saved me from drinking my liver sick; instead convincing me to eat Vietnamese food at the Mai's in Dallas. So good! Got home and took Tiger for a walk. This weather is making him act all crazy! But it's SO cute.

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Irony is waiting to read

Irony is waiting to read blogs until the next day just so you'll have time to relish the enjoyment then getting to work and being so damn busy that you can't even read your email.

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Dreaming heavily Just woke myself

Dreaming heavily
Just woke myself up out of a dream. I was in Central America with Summer. We were staying in the most perfect, beautiful place on a rocky beach in a country without a name. She was lying on a huge boulder taking in the sun. I was on a cell phone discussing where we were going next. Summer had a bit of heat stroke so she didn't care. She was just lying around telling me that anything, anywhere I wanted to go was fine. I suggested we canoe down a huge river to the southern part of this beautiful country before going on to the next one. I knew we would be canoeing through very sparsely populated areas and that there would be a lot of planning necessary but I had to do it. I visualized the river coming to the sea and it was the best place on earth. Eventually, Summer and I went inside our hut which was built into the side of a cliff. It was cool. I encouraged Summer to drink some water to ease her sun delirium. She refused to go on the canoeing trip.

I flashed back to the US where I was driving to my home. But it wasn't my home, I was living with a friend's parents. I parked in front of the house and just before I crossed the pond which was their front yard, the house imploded. It wasn't a huge explosion but a strong one. The neighbors came running and we went inside to collect the others. The living room and kitchen looked like they had fallen into a huge sink hole. The foundation had a huge fault line running through it. Kristen was in bed so I woke her and started collecting my things. I had two bags - a duffel bag and a purse. I grabbed my toothbrush and some clothes from the bathroom, stuffing them in a hurry in my bag. Kristen still half asleep was asking what happened. I finally realized it was 5am and an absurd time to be coming home.

As I collected my sister, my stuff, and my dog, I was hit with a strong sense of urgency. I was supposed to leave the next day for another exotic, nameless country, but I still didn't know where. I was going through the choices in my head. All I knew was that despite lack of sleep, this minor house disaster, and absolutely no preparations I had to leave that day. I can remember thinking how happy I was that all I had was my one duffel bag to pack.

Just before I grabbed my stuff to leave, I ran across some papers of mine. There was a letter from Summer asking me to come to Seattle August 10th to do some work for a dot com with her. It sounded like a perfect short bit of consulting and a lot of fun. Yet August 10th had come and gone without a response from me. I felt guilty.

I jumped to later that day because the sun was up. This foster family of sorts was cleaning their disaster of a house. There was water everywhere. Yet I still got chastised for smoking in the house. I did what I could to help but knew I would be leaving shortly. I had to get out; I had to go on the next adventure. I grabbed my stuff and started walking.

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Dilemma It's late and I

Dilemma
It's late and I want to read everyone but if I read it all tonight I won't have anything to read tomorrow. If work is slow then I'm going to be REALLY bored. So do I fulfill my blog needs just for a few minutes of satisfaction tonight or do I wait until tomorrow when I can take my time and stretch out the enjoyment? Or do I just start bullying everyone to chain themselves to their computers and write 24/7 so I can always have something interesting to read?

Yeah, I'm off to the hardware store for some chain.

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At work but not working

At work but not working
The phones are down at work. Well, they're partially down. We can make out-going calls and get personal incoming calls but we can't get any customer calls on the 1-800 number. Gave me a chance to catch up on some reading and email. Now I'm just waiting for the phones to start working or lunchtime to roll around. I'm surfing a bit and thinking about how awesome the past month has been. I've met and connected with so many incredible people in the past month. It still shocks me that it's only been a month. It was August 22nd that the last DFW Blogs happy hour occured. And we're finally having another happy hour this week...Wednesday. I'm looking forward to meeting more bloggers. What I really want to do is get a hold of a digital camera and get head shots of everyone there. Start matching faces with blogs. Anyone want to loan me theirs?

Going to Houston this weekend to see Keith and Adam. Keith is coming down from Ohio. I didn't make it up there earlier this month so I'm looking forward to seeing him. Definitely need to make it by the Contemporary in Houston...one of my favorite museums ever. Also looking forward to eating at Mai's. Maybe I'll even stop by Tonic for old times sake. It would be good to call April and try to see her. And I haven't seen Gena since we went to New Orleans in June. Good thing I have a few days to decide who to call and try to see while I'm there. Decisions, decisions.

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Quote of the Day "Did

Quote of the Day
"Did you ever play the "What if I had just..." game so long it made your heart hurt?"
- Rebecca at Synaesthasia

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Had a long conversation this

Had a long conversation this afternoon with my father about the state of the world...specifically the US..specifically how it's going to affect our lives. It scares me. Things are changing. I want to be as prepared as possible. Dad's always good for the logical and reasonable opinion. He's the type to plan ahead. I needed some of his insight today. I feel like maybe I'm now more mentally prepared. I trust my dad a lot. I respect his opinion a lot. I'm so thankful to be near my family in times like these.

Woke up this morning thinking

Woke up this morning thinking about emotions. Why is it that as I get older, my emotions become less intense? I used to feel everything. I would cry at the slightest sad thought. Love was a powerful, all-encompassing feeling. Sometimes I loved so much, I thought my heart would break in two. Why is it now that I still love, but it doesn't feel like it used to? And isn't love a feeling so if I don't feel like I used to, am I really loving?

It's hard not to compare past experiences with the present ones. It's hard not to question what I'm feeling or what I perceive as a lack of feeling. Maybe as I get older, it's just harder to love in that loose, crazy, completely free way that I did when I was younger. Maybe that wasn't really love at all. Maybe I just guard my heart now that I'm older. It's harder to let go. Maybe it's just the mix of hormones in my body, or lack thereof.

I want to believe that someday I'll feel as intensely as I once did. But I'm scared that I won't. In a way, I'm discounting what I have now because I'm comparing it to what I had once before. I don't want to live the rest of my life looking back and desiring what is in the past.

Do married couples really wake up one day and think, "The spark is gone"? I want to believe those feelings, that "spark," is infatuation. It's not valid, it doesn't really count. I want to believe that I had a whole year of those feelings with John and it never got old because we lived so far apart. I want to believe that those feelings were foolish and childish. It wasn't real love, it was just obsession and loneliness. I was in love with an idea.

Real love takes time and hard work. Real love is a choice. Real love doesn't come easily. It's not instantaneous good feelings. But I want those feelings. How could someone not? I read somewhere that we desire to be with people that make us have emotions similar to when we were children - the intense, out of control, full, overwhelming feelings. That implies that as we get older those feelings aren't typical. It doesn't really make sense though. Why would I want to feel like a child again? Other than it feels good and is intense. I want to be stable. I want to make choices, be in control. I want to be in touch with reality and not some fantasy in my heart.

Yet deep down I still want to feel like I once felt.

Mostly I want to quit questioning my emotions. I don't want to wake up thinking about them. I don't want to wonder if my relationships are valid or invalid simply because I don't feel as intensely as I once did. I don't want to compare. I don't want to hope that if I'll just be patient enough those feelings will come back. I want to be content with what I have now. Because it's good. Because it's better than I could hope for. Because I'm very, very blessed.

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Work Party Mark and

Work Party
Mark and Dave attended the work cook-out with me this afternoon. Two dates! Co-workers fried TWO turkeys and barb-b-qued fifty dollars worth of ribs. Needless to say it was an afternoon of eating. It was a laid back afternoon. My boss even said he liked my friends. So looks like I made a good choice of who to bring. Yeah, I like my friends too. Especially you.

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Home Sweet Home Stayed home

Home Sweet Home
Stayed home tonight to do some cleaning. But the Chris Isaac CD ("Forever Blue") came in the mail today so I've been listening to heartbreak music all night.

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I just watched the president's

I just watched the president's speech since I was sleeping when he actually gave it. I'm a bit in shock. It scares me at being told to have patience that our country is going to be at war for as long as it takes. It scares me that Bush is committing to the long term. I'm already sad for all the people who are going to die, because it is inevitable that there will be innocent among the guilty. Mostly I'm scared what it will mean for every day life. You don't go to college, get a degree, then get a good job expecting your "perfect" life to be interrupted by war. Here's to living day to day which is all we can do right now.

Along the same note, I just spoke to my mother who works at American Airlines. Major layoffs happened today just like we've all heard on the news. She sounded concerned. What is happening to our economy?

Baseball pics!

Baseball pics!

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Ranger's Game

Went the Ranger's game last night with Mark, Andy, and Karen. Had a blast! Who knew baseball could be so much fun! (It's all about the company.)

Highlights included:
- lots and lots of food (specifically dollar hotdogs)
- free seats (due to a generous friend of Andy's)
- drinks in the Gold Club
- fireworks when the Rangers hit a homerun
- the national anthem singer had the biggest hair I've ever seen (Mark said "Swiss Family Robinson")
- it didn't rain and it was the perfect temperature
- I didn't get hit in the head with a foul ball
- ice cream in a helmet

Pictures to come.

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Mark is in an interview

Mark is in an interview right now. I'm sending all possible positive vibes his way.

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Quote of the Day "He

Quote of the Day
"He is a hypochondriac...but then he has chosen a stressful lifestyle and that can manifest itself in strange ways if you're worried about getting a TLAM (missle) up your ass."
- senior counter-terrorism official, in reference to Osama bin Laden's health, according to MSNBC

Coffee with Matt

Went for coffee with Matt after work yesterday. I called Matt on a whim and was glad when he made time for me. We sat on the porch and watched the most incredible storm roll in. It was very ominous and matched parts of our conversation nicely. When the sky finally opened up on us, we moved inside. Conversation continued and even got more intense. When we finally hit a lull, I looked down at my watch - it was 9pm! We had been talked for almost 3 hours. I was in complete shock that time had slipped away like it did. It felt like it took me awhile to come back to reality.

We went back to the house to collect Dave and Mark for dinner. The four of us ended up going to Cafe Brazil, which was pleasantly empty. I, personally, had a great time hanging out. Dave and Matt are so witty and sharp. I don't catch half their jokes but they've always got me laughing. Mark was quiet last night, but I know he has a lot on his mind. I could have hung out all night except that pesky work thing in the morning.

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Quote of the Day "He

Quote of the Day
"He had facial hair."
- Matt

Going to the Rangers game

Going to the Rangers game tomorrow with Mark, Andy, and Karen. It's so nice to have something to look forward to in the middle of the week. I haven't been to a baseball game in at least a year. Actually, I'm not sure...I remember it was Easter and Autumn was in town visiting. She had never been to a professional baseball game so we went. We were far more interested in watching people than we were in the actual game. I think I have a picture of us in front of the stadium that some poor stranger got suckered into taking for us. It was windy that day. Autumn drank one beer.

It's amazing to me how I can remember details like those but I can't remember whether it was last year or the year before. I think that's because the past year has been one big blur. I felt like I was just spinning my wheels for a year, going nowhere. I'm thankful I finally have direction and some things in my life that are markers. Each day is now significant instead of just one big blur that turns into weeks then months. Thank you to everyone who is a marker in my life who makes me feel significant. I appreciate you.

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Monday all over again? Forgot

Monday all over again?
Forgot to set my alarm last night so I didn't wake up until Karen came in and asked me about work. I should have already been on my way to work by that time but what can you do? So I got to work 45 minutes late. My manager was cool. I'm frustrated with my memory sometimes. It's not like I have any other responsibilities. The one responsibility in my life is to get up and go to work. Why the hell didn't I remember the alarm?

I'm feeling a bit slow and introspective today. I guess it doesn't help that I'm listening to Radiohead.

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Definitions of the Day Fruedian

Definitions of the Day
Fruedian fingers - when you type the wrong word like "butch" instead of "bitch"
Cats got my fingers - when you have nothing to type
- keith

Ev just linked his sister's

Ev just linked his sister's blog. You'd think he would have taken the ad off her page but fairs fair, I suppose.

URL's on Photos

Took some time this morning to label photos I just had developed. This was the first time I've actually written urls on photos. I wonder what my kids will think about that someday.

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Photo Albums! My trip to

Photo Albums!
My trip to Amarillo a few weeks ago.
AND
My trip to Austin for Fray.

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Sometimes it just takes one

Sometimes it just takes one nice comment to make everything ok. I was grumpy but I'm not now.

The Dream
I was in my parents' church but I was all alone. Somehow I couldn't find anyone to sit with. I was very uncomfortable in such a big place all alone. I left my purse on the pew and went out to find my family. I had the hardest time finding the way out. For some reason, all the aisles went straight up. I finally found an aisle that had stairs leading out. Somehow I found my family but when we got back to the pew, my purse was gone. I was so angry that it had been stolen...in church! I found out that one of the pastors had stolen it.

I woke up shortly after that realization and had a strong feeling that my purse respresented my faith. Because of the dream and the feelings associated with it, I didn't go to church with my parents this morning.

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What an excellent weekend. I

What an excellent weekend. I live such a charmed life. Things are so good. I'm so happy. Suddenly I have a bunch of amazing people in my life. It's interesting to think about my mental state just a year ago and how different I am now. Yet at the same time there is this huge cloud over everything. I'm disconnecting. I refuse to think about the cloud every waking minute. My life is good and I'm going to be happy while I can.

Friday night
Met Leia, Amanda, Matt, Mark, Karen, Dave, and Andy at TGIFridays in the Ballpark. It was a perfectly patriotic place. Since there was no baseball it was quiet and comfortable. I also think it was a perfectly sized group. Conversation flowed around the table quite nicely. After dinner we had our own candlelight memorial thanks to Leia bringing candles. It was awesome sitting around candlelight in a completely empty baseball stadium.

Karen and Dave went to see other friends after dinner but everyone else came over to the house. We just sat around the living room talking. I know I already said this, but conversation in a house is so much different than conversation in a public place. The relaxation factor is very high in a house. We talked for hours. Of course blogging was a subject. (As was the amount of honesty one should/could put in it.) We talked about a million different things. It was the best night I've had in a very, very long time. It's so refreshing to find people that are comfortable enough with themselves to just talk.

The next day Matt and I were recapping the night. I believe he had as much fun as I did. We're both so pleasantly surprised to meet new people that we like. And I think we like the same kind of people. It's amazing to think all this started only a month ago.

Saturday...the dreaded move
Well, it wasn't really a move. But it was dreaded. I had to go to north Dallas to pick up two couches I bought from Kris's aunt. Mark was kind enough to go with me though I know he was exhausted. The truck I borrowed didn't have a/c. It was a very unpleasant trip.

We made a rest stop in the middle and I got to see Mark's Italy pictures. They were fabulous. Even better in person than on his page. I'm extremely impressed (and a bit intimidated) by Mark's photography abilities. I also got to see Mark's wife. Don't worry, I could never get in between him and his wife. She's a beautiful, beautiful guitar. This was only the second time I've seen Mark play. And he played so differently on his own guitar than he did Thursday night on Josh's.

All the driving made for a long day. At least I have new couches (though they need to be cleaned). Mark and I took a nap afterwards. Naps always make the day better.

Mmmm, Indian food
Went to dinner with Josh, Carly, Susie, and Mark at Gopaul's, an Indian restaurant. Initially I wasn't going to go since I have absolutely, completely hated all the Indian food I've had before. But I really wanted to hang out with Josh and Carly some more so I decided to suck it up. And I'm glad I did because I ended up liking practically everything I ate! Talk about surprised. My favorite dish even had curry in it. WHAT?! I know, I thought I hated curry. Apparently I don't because this was so good. I love it when I'm wrong.

Even I know bad music
After dinner we went to Milk Bar to see Damon's band play. The highlight for me was the huge bed-like chase lounge.

Caves usually scare me
We eventually moved to the Cavern down the street. I was pleasantly surprised to find it was a great hangout. Dave told me that we're going to be "terrific friends." I hope he's right. Heard a lot of James Brown off the jute box. You can never get sick of his singing even though all his songs sound basically the same...at least I don't . I almost fell asleep in the couch. The drive back home sucked because I wanted to fall asleep in the car. Scary.

Ahh, technology...bringing drunk people together
Was about to go to bed and got sidetracked into the office. Adam was online so I stopped to talk. We ended up video chatting and I got to see his family who was visiting. Man, video chat is so cool. It's almost like being in the same room. Except that when someone offers you a drink you have to refuse. When is that teleportation device going to be ready, Adam? It was fun to see him. I miss Adam and wish he lived in Dallas. Houston is just too damn far away.

Eventually got to bed and slept hard. I had a dream but that's another story for another time.

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Quote of the Day "Smoke

Quote of the Day
"Smoke and salt that muther."
- Andy

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I'm tired. It's been a

I'm tired. It's been a long day already. But it's been good. I really enjoy what I'm doing and I've spoken to the nicest people today on the phone. One guy was so happy with how I helped that he told me to go out and have a couple coctails and a two-step on him! I didn't explain that I don't two-step. It's fun but at the same time tiring. I'm looking foward to a relaxing evening with Leia and maybe a few others for dinner. I just want to lay around the house, light some candles, have a drink, and talk. Wanna come?

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What a wonderful evening. I

What a wonderful evening. I met Mark, Josh, Carly, Andy, Jeff, Susie, and Jacob for drinks and a little folk music. I was trying to make amends with Mark after being so negative about music. It all started when I said I don't like musicians. It's a tender subject with me and I'm afraid the day we talked about it, I wasn't being particularly tender. So I wanted Mark to know that him being a musician is very cool with me. I really enjoyed the songs and the conversation. I'm beginning to understand why Mark feels so powerfully about his friends. And I got a good hug. Human touch is so important these days to make us know we're alive. Really enjoyed Josh's sense of humor and Jeff's songs. I wanted to keep drinking all night long but alas works calls. Why do I always feel like drinking myself silly on a Thursday? One of these days I'm going to and just call in sick (because I will be if I drink as much as I think I'm going to). Now I'm sleepy and have warm fuzzies. It's a weird time to be starting a relationship. What am I getting myself into?

Great Day

Having a great day at work. It's so nice to have a job where I can help people. Just got email from our president saying he would personally match contributions to Red Cross Disaster Relief up to x amount then the company would match up to another x amount. I'm very impressed. I work for a wonderful, wonderful company.

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Intentionally stayed away from the

Intentionally stayed away from the tv tonight. Instead I cleaned the garage. It was in desperate need of organizing. Listened to love songs on the radio. It was a good night to be alone and keep my hands busy.

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Woke up this morning wondering

Woke up this morning wondering if any more terrorism occured while I slept. Relieved to simply hear more about yesterday's events. I was angry for the first time today. Yesterday was only sadness. While brushing my teeth today I thought about how everyone of those terrorists got up every morning and brushed their teeth just like I do. Yet they are not human like I am. In my anger I wanted our government to unmercifully wipe out all terrorists all over the world. I imagine special forces going in and committing mass executions. It wouldn't matter whether or not those particular terrorist groups were responsible, it would be just to make a point that no one would be allowed to commit such a heinous crime against such a powerful country. In my mind, everyone would be punished to prove a point.

Of course, my anger passed and I am able to think rationally again. More violence, especially mass violence, is not the way. I've been sad, angry, and now I need to move on to forgiveness.

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Just had dinner with the

Just had dinner with the family. It's good to be together when things are so confusing and sad. Mark is out giving blood. I've watched more tv today than I've watched in at least 3 months put together. I'm wondering what tomorrow will bring. Right now I'm going to get in bed with a book just to put my mind somewhere else for a little while.

Terrorist Attacks What can I

Terrorist Attacks
What can I say? I'm overwhelmed with grief. How could anyone do this to so many people? I just hope our government reacts in a responsible way. It's scary to think about the future.

My office closed our of respect for the situation. So I'm now home left only with my thoughts and the rehashing on tv.

Quote of the Day "Can

Quote of the Day
"Can someone create some software that'll prevent me from posting to blogger when I'm over-emotional?"
- In the Closet Boy

I was just eating some

I was just eating some blueberry muffins for breakfast. I know they've been around awhile but they looked and smelled fine. It wasn't until I was about to eat my second that I noticed the slight layer of mold. Now I've got a funny taste in my mouth.

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FRIDAY 7pm - Left the

FRIDAY
7pm - Left the house...finally. Mark was very patient with me while I packed and got ready for the weekend in Austin. Highlight of the drive was singing along with Ben Folds Five (though I'm sure Mark wished I hadn't).
10:30pm - Knocked on Autumn & Ky's door. Surprised the crap out of her. The look on her face was priceless. But of course she was more than happy to see me. Mark and I secured a place to sleep.
11:30pm - Met Leia, Julie, Jessica, Billy, Amanda, Alison, Tony, Hahn, and Shawn at Stubbs. Then we went to the Empanada Parlour for drinks. I drank too much. Nah, I was just so sleepy that the alcohol hit me hard. I was so thrilled when Mark agreed to bail at 1am. Yeah, I'm a lightweight.

SATURDAY
7am - Up with Autumn and Ky. Mark slept. Ky went rock climbing. Autumn and I fulfilled the tradition and got bagels for breakfast. But it was all women working at Einstein's! It just wasn't the same. Spent the day kicking it with Autumn while Mark hung out with Jessica and Billy. It was so wonderful to spend time with my best friend. The last time we saw each other things were strained between us. This trip everything was back to normal and I hated the thought of leaving. I'm so blessed with Autumn as my soul mate.
3:30pm - NAP.
6pm - Woke up and got ready for Fray. Discussed with Autumn the need to take a sweater since I'm always cold in air conditioning. Little did I know how far away from needing a sweater I'd be.
7pm - Arived at Ruta Maya, the Fray mecca. Realized things were starting later than we thought. Walked right by Dave without recognizing him. (But since I had met him for the first time Thursday, I think I'm forgiven.) It was hot as hell inside due to no a/c and little air movement. I finally understood while so many people sit outside Ruta Maya. Met Jana and Thon, Damon and Tanna all from Dallas. All were wonderfully warm people.
7:30pm - Mark, et al arrived. He was nervous. I think it's wonderful he was so open about his discomfort. So many of us would just hide it. Tried to distract him but failed miserably.
8:30pm - Fray got going. Heard Dave, Jessica, and Alison who were followed by Mark. I was so anxious for him knowing he was nervous about his reading. But I had absolutely no reason to be anxious - Mark was wonderful! He seemed very relaxed and had excellent delivery. His timing was perfect. I, though probably biased, really enjoyed his story. Then I retreated outside for some heat relief. A little later I met Adam and Megan who are the cutest couple I've met in a long time. Megan is so adorable and sweet. She reminds me of someone though I still can't put my finger on who.
9:30pm - Fray was nowhere near being over, but Autumn and I left for the party at Greg's.
10:30pm - Arrived on the right street indicated by all the cars. Found a house with disco lights, turn tables, and people in crazy costumes. We thought this was the spot until we walked through the house and realized I didn't know a soul. Got a weird sinking feeling knowing I was in the wrong house. Ends up the host knew Greg and directed us to the correct party (two doors down).
10:35pm - Finally arrived at the correct location but didn't even recognize my own sister in her costume! Everyone looked great. Saw Dustin, Greg, Phil, Blake, Shannon, Billy, and finally met Elaine. The fire spinners were performing in front which was absolutely amazing to watch. The DJ's were off the hook! Costumes alone could have kept us entertained all night. It was quite a party! (Elaine took some great pictures too!)
12:30am - Lack of sleep kicked in, and we went back to Autumn's apartment.
1am - Mark got back to the apartment and we filled each other in on our adventures. His with all the other bloggers and mine with Karen's crazy college friends. Wish we both could have been in two places at the same time!
2am - Sleep overtook me...finally.

SUNDAY
11am - Had a fabulous breakfast with Autumn, Ky, Mark, Jessica, and Billy. Ran into Dave, Thon, and Jana. Las Manitas is my new favorite Mexican restaurant.
12:30pm - Left for Dripping Spings to drop by Mark's parents' ranch. Spent a few hours with them and got to see for myself how beautiful it really was. My favorite spot, though I didn't get to try it out, was the hammocks next to the creek.
3pm - Hopped in the car for the back-roads drive home. It was nice and relaxing. Mark kept me in stitches the whole way back. Ask him about the new domain name he wants to buy.
6:30pm - Arrived home, grabbed some dinner with Mark, took the dogs for a walk (what a circus!). Did a whirlwind cleaning tour while Mark caught up on email. Crashed hard after an exhausting weekend. It was the best sleeping in my own bed again.

Monday already? Back from a

Monday already?
Back from a wonderful weekend in Austin. There's so much to say about it but I don't think I'm ready just yet. My mind is still putting it all together.

Mark took this Sunday

Mark took this Sunday in front of the DMA.

In the moments before consciousness

In the moments before consciousness
I just dreamt that I met Giovanni Ribisi on the subway. But he wasn't an actor, or a broker, or anything. He was just a normal guy sitting next to me on a train. I was tired and pissed off that I had taken the long way home. I just wanted to listen to some music and sleep the rest of the way. He wanted to talk. And he was beautiful. We ended up talking about music and I had to share something with him. We ended up being in a car with some people he knew for the rest of the trip. At some point during the car ride he turned to me and said, "I'm very attracted to you." My emotions were so mixed because I, too, was attracted to him, but I didn't want to be. I had previous commitments. I wanted to badly to run with him and to feel and want. But I couldn't. I couldn't allow myself to break the trust of someone else. I was emotionally torn. And at the crescendo of this emotional moment I woke up.

One more day So I'm

One more day
So I'm going to Austin afterall. The work party got cancelled due to impending bad weather. I'm relieved. I didn't want to stay here this weekend just for a bar-b-que with coworkers. Not that I'm complaining about coworkers, it's just that they're not my ideal social group. So instead I choose to hang out with a bunch of computer geeks telling stories in Austin. Well, I can assume not everyone is going to be a geek but everyone I know will be. Plus I'll get to see Autumn and Ky whom I haven't seen for quite sometime. They just won't come to Arlington. Not that I blame them, it's not exactly the best place to spend your weekend. Plus they'd have to deal with Ky's parents. So I'll just do like I always do and make a trek down to see them. In addition to Fray Saturday night, I'll be attending the CSraves farm party. Oh the craziness! Looking forward to seeing the costumes...though I know I won't be able to compete.

Got all sorts of attention at work for my new hairdo. It's so nice they noticed. At my last job they probably wouldn't have opened their eyes long enough to notice.

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New hair

New hair

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Quote of the Day

"argh. blogger is being wonky."
- Leia rocks.

Boobs

Boobs

My dog loves my sister.

According to Karen, "Your dog is LOVING me cuz we're talking serious scratching from Aunt Karen."

I'll never measure up.

Wonderful

It's a wonderful day. Work is flying by and I've been able to show off some brain power. Nothings as nice as being able to show I can think for myself.

Hell of a storm last night. Poor Tiger was scared out of his mind. I woke up multiple times. For some strange reason checked email at 3am. Looks like Billy was the only one to get a note. He mentioned the blue links were difficult to see. So they've been changed. No, I didn't change this at 3am...I'm not that crazy. But I did have funny dreams after I went back to sleep. Someone was telling me that I was a horrible designer and they said I was going to lose my job. WTF? I'm not even a designer!! Was up again at 4:30am when I thought the storm was going to blow the house down. All this rain is weird.

Getting my hair done this evening. I'm SO excited. I haven't been to a salon in months. I should have taken a before picture. Who knows what it's going to look like when I'm done.

Bobby called.

He was in a sad mood. I guess I feel bad for him being in a sad mood but I understand. It's hard to be somewhere in life that you're not happy with. It's just plain hard to be happy. It was nice that he was sad and wanted to talk with me. That's really a wonderful thing. It shows me that I mean something to him. But now I'm a bit sad. I want to fix things for Bobby. I want to fix things for Bobby and I. Yet there's no way to fix those things. So I'm going to crawl under the covers and sleep.

Quote of the day

"Well, because the body runs on electricity. And if you get certain parts wet, it short circuits other parts."
- Keith's insight about dating stupid people

HoHo, the making of

I learned last week that the recipe for the chocolate covering on a hoho changes according to season. Fat with a higher melting point is used during the summer, which in fact tastes a little more waxy than the fat in the chocolate used during the winter.

Rain, rain go away

It's a rainy Tuesday morning, and I just want to be in bed. But I came to work because I had training scheduled. However, it seems the trainer didn't know about it. Communication break down...again. Note to self: take control of communicating with others outside of your department because it seems that's the only way things get done.

My boss just commented that I look "really well rested." It's true. I went to bed early and slept wonderfully. Sleep is good. I'm lucky to get so much of it.

I'm also lucky that I mowed the lawn yesterday since it's raining again today.

Quote of the Day
"There was something wrong with the animals:
Their tails were too long, and they had unfortunate heads."
- Pablo Neruda, translated by Ken Krabberhoft
from Ode to the Cat

Quote of the Day

"Blogging is like self-inflicted paparazzi."
- Mark

Groggy

I just woke up from a nap but didn't want to get up. Considering it's creeping into evening it's best I get up. Napping too late completely screws up my schedule. But it's probably too late for me anyhow...someone kept me up too late last night.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday
I didn't stay too late at the party with Kristen and her friends Saturday night. I was tired. Plus I had to get up early Sunday morning to see Kris's aunt. Susan, the said aunt, is moving away and selling everything before she goes. So as a favor to Kris I went over to her apartment to look at furniture. I ended up buying her couches. Now I just have to figure out how to get them from North Dallas to Arlington. Where are my cowboy friends with pickup trucks when I need them?! Oh wait, I don't have any.

Met Mark for lunch before an afternoon at the art museum. It was a perfect afternoon. We must have spent 3 hours at the museum and saw about half of it before we had to stop. We were over saturated. But the Wolfgang Laib exhibit was amazing. I'm glad I got exposed to his work. The whole museum was a multisensory experience yesterday. The art challenged our sense of sight, sound, and smell. I was exhausted by the end of it.

Mark was dogsitting for friends so we went back to the house to check on them. Eventually we picked up a few things for dinner and Mark cooked for me. This was the most amazing meal. I was impressed by everything. Mark is quite the chef; even his presentation of the food on the plates was beautiful. Everything was perfect and he made it look so easy!

After dinner conversation was interrupted by a frantic call from Karen because Tiger had cut himself. He was bleeding everywhere and she was freaking out. I talked to my parents who were coming over to the house anyhow and knew the situation would be defused by Dad. Of course Tiger was okay. He cut a pad but it was minor once the bleeding stopped. So Mark and I were able to get back to our wine and conversation. It got pretty intense as talk moved into religion, but I enjoyed every minute of it. (Isn't there some rule about talking about religion?) Mark is so well spoken and open. He makes me feel completely comfortable no matter what the conversation is about.

Just as we were trying to lighten things up, Leia called. We decided to meet her for drinks. She had just seen Made with a group of friends at Angelika. We met Leia and her friends at Rockfish where they were having dinner. Of course after introductions we got teased a bit for meeting "over the internet" but what can you expect? If you haven't done it, you don't know. It still strikes me as funny that I get teased for my internet usage. I guess because I think it's completely normal and that you've missed out on some important part of our generation if you don't do it. It's going to be so cool to tell my children (or more likely, my sisters' children) about my blog and all the interesting people I met through it. After dinner, Leia's friends left so we switched to the pub around the corner. Conversation revolved around computers but I certainly wasn't complaining. Leia is so interesting. I'm not sure if I can elaborate on this but I'm really intrigued by her. It was good to hang out and hopefully we'll get to do more of it.

Mark and I went back to the house to check on the dogs and do some dishes. We ended up staying up way too late but every minute was worth it. He really is a wonderful person. And yesterday was such a wonderful day.

Time is Ticking Away

So who's going to blog first? I'm sure everyone's waiting.

Grandma is 90.

Had a great time at Grandma's birthday party. She was so happy to get all the attention. And I don't think she's ever had a formal birthday party! 90 is just too long to wait for a birthday celebration! It was fun to see all 25 little old ladies enjoying themselves so much.

Went shopping with Karen this afternoon for those labor day sales.

Tonight I'm going with Kristen to a house party. Maybe I'll meet a cute younger guy. Yeah and maybe if he keeps his mouth shut, I'd actually enjoy his company. Oooo...that was uncalled for. It's just too often that younger guys are totally what I want physically but are nothing what I want mentally. Hopefully I'll just go and enjoy my time with little sis. She's got a great group of friends so it will definitely be good.