I was about to write a huge monologue on the topic, when it occurred to me that what I had to say could be said simply: The inability to let go is a *disadvantage* of unconditional love. Nothing that the other person can do nor any amount of distance or time can change the way you feel. If only we could choose the people who fall in love with us... However, presuming that you can find someone capable of returning the sentiment, well, that is the *advantage* of unconditional love, now isn't it ? Instead of having a relationship fall apart and not knowing why, it will stay together, even if, at the moment, you don't know why...

Andy, I definitely don't believe what I have felt was "unconditional love." However, I do agree with the point of your comment. It's easy to love when we're loved back and it sucks when we're not.

Mmmm... Definitely have the t-shirt. I think the hollowness within is the most painful part of losing the “perfect one”. And the self-realisation about what I did (or didn’t do), and the pain of knowing that perhaps I should have been more myself and less ‘accommodating’ – was I despised for trying to hard? How hard to bear the once-warm voice now indifferent – where did ‘they’ go? It’s a learning experience…

Heh, call it an "unhealthy infatuation" then... I never was much good at controlling *those* either... As to letting go, I know where you're coming from. After much high-powered drama, my last girlfriend finally confessed that she "just didn't love me anymore". That's great! No, really ! That's like *the* best reason for breaking up with someone. Whatever it is that you want and need, you just aren't getting it from them anymore, and so your feelings change, even if you're not consciously aware of why. Despite that, (and the fact that it's been four years now) I can't let go. I know that it wasn't my fault, and it wasn't her fault, either. There was nothing I could have done to *fix* everything and remain happy myself. I know now that we were just *not* meant to be together, but that knowledge, that solid surety, doesn't make me love her any less. I usually like to dispense wise advice in these sort of situations, but this time, I got nothin'

Seems I'm in the club too. Sigh... Used to think this is a sign of weakness/childish/immature. More and more I see different people are all bothered by this.. The girl loves her first love, and can't get over him; just like the way I love her and can't get over her. Life sometimes is just plain sad... Oh, sorry if I let you down, just I myself also find it hard to breath sometimes, need to find a outlet. I guess the point is: this is common, so no big deal, as life goes on :)