I think that this sort of thing is hard because we are afraid to tell each other the truth in a timely manner. In the situation you just mentioned, it seems that the girl listed all sorts of reasons about why they should be breaking up, only resorting to the truth when nothing else seemed to work. "I don't want to be with you anymore." That's the part I can't get. Why do we stay in relationships that we know in our hearts are not what we want, then wait for things to get so bad that breaking up is a matter of self-preservation? Do we not want to be the "Bad Guy"? In an effort to absolve ourselves of the guilt of dumping someone, we instead choose to stay in that bad relationship, slowly being consumed by anger and resentment because we are "trapped"? Why can't we say: "Hey, we've been together for about four years now, and both of us have changed. I have changed enough that this relationship is not what I want right now. I don't want to hurt you by lying to you and leading you on, and I don't want to hurt *me* by staying in a relationship that I don't want for so long that it damages our friendship beyond repair. I don't want to hate you, and I don't want you to hate me, but if we don't break up now, that is exactly what is going to happen. I know all of this is hard to hear, but you have to believe that i'm doing this so we can both have a chance at being happy." (allow me to beg indulgence of the blogmistress as I seize control of her forum) If you're in this sort of situation, I implore you: Set yourself free! Release yourself and the person you're with before you end up hating yourself and them. The keys to those chains are right in your own pocket... -AndyS (who has been on the other end of that very same telephone before)